Young mothers told who and why forbids them to lead the old way of life.
You’ve probably wondered How long your life has changed with the birth of a child. No, we are not talking about responsibility, new responsibilities and even sleepless nights now. We mean mobility. Can you still attend the same concerts as before? Also meeting friends? And go to the same favorite places? We think it’s unlikely …
The problem turns out to be quite serious. And so it was already in many cities and with tens of thousands of different parents. For example, in Sverdlovsk, young parents were not allowed to the fair-sale with a stroller; in Moscow, mother and daughter were not allowed to enter the veranda of a famous bar after nine in the evening; in Vladivostok, a woman with a stroller was not allowed into a hotel (!); and after one of the young mothers was not allowed into the concert hall of Tomsk, the girl created her own project “Mozart from the cradle”, which she allowed children of any age to attend.
The reaction to children from some visitors to cafes and restaurants may not be entirely adequate.
“I am a mother of three children and for many years now I have not been practically anywhere. Why? It’s simple: the acquaintances and friends with whom we are planning to meet, openly say: “Come without children!” The same is almost always written on the faces of administrators and managers of various establishments. And even in cinemas and shopping centers, kids are not welcomed, – says Olga Severyuzhgina. – The explanation is standard: your child will interfere with others, break everything around, ruin people’s rest. But it is impossible to raise a well-bred child who knows the rules of behavior in a public place, if he is constantly forbidden to visit these places! Agree? “
Olga’s position is supported by about half of Russian mothers, while the other half … also do not want to be in those places where at least one child has come.
“Why should I hear other children screaming and demanding something, if I just fulfilled my dream and left the same, but my own child! I risk being thrown at me with rotten tomatoes, but I will still say: in many public institutions you need to hang signs: “Entry with children is strictly prohibited!” There is no money for a nanny and grandmothers do not help – stay with your child at home yourself! The conversation is short! “
In fact, the question of whether to take children with you to various events and to various institutions is a difficult one. Moreover, the younger the child, the more difficult it is. Now let’s imagine that this is not just a small child, but also a child with special needs …
“When I gave birth to a baby with Down syndrome, I was terribly depressed. And not so much because of the diagnosis (by and large, now everything is being corrected, and people have been living with it for many years), but because I understood that society, as before, will not accept me! I will no longer be able to go to concerts and holidays, I will stop attending public events and give up cafes and restaurants. At best, in these places, my son and I will see sidelong glances from the side of visitors. At worst, we will simply be asked to vacate the premises. “
And yet, is it really impossible to reverse this situation? After all, we were all once children, and life certainly does not end with the appearance of a child.
This is how a dinner with two children could ideally go.
“The birth of a child imposes some restrictions, but they are all in our head! As soon as we shake this head, the restrictions will disappear, – the mother of the twins, Lilia Kirillova, is sure. – If someone tells me that the entrance with children is prohibited, I automatically refuse to go to this event or to these people. Why? But because if they have set restrictions and they are “embarrassed by children’s cries”, it means that no one gives guarantees that after a while they will not be embarrassed by my friends, my way of life, and then myself. And why then do I need such people? To feel flawed? Believe me, and without this there are many who want to show you how to live and what to do. So let’s at least not give them an additional reason for this and the subsequent joy from the triumph of victory! “