7 things you won’t change in a man: the opinion of a male psychotherapist

At least once in their lives, women say: «I can change him.» This is a common misconception. Of course, everyone has flaws, but it is unlikely that you can reshape a man so that he fully complies with the ideas of an ideal partner. We have compiled a list of seven qualities that you should not try to change in the second half.

1. obiceiuri proaste

Little things annoy you: he bites his nails or chews with his mouth open. Nothing to do about. Do not waste time and energy trying to rid a man of bad habits. It is unlikely that they will completely disappear.

2. Simțul stilului

You can choose clothes that you like for a man, but his sense of style will not change. If you go shopping with him and pick up things to your liking, at the initial stage of the relationship it will work. But the effect won’t last forever. Your other half will dress as always. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not.

3. Vederi religioase

An attempt to change religious beliefs is doomed to failure and generally dangerous. Do not question faith in God or lack of it. The most you can do is change the frequency with which he attends church, but you can’t do more.

4. Relații de familie

It seems to you that you know the family of the chosen one well. You will not be able to change the relationship between a man and his parents. It does not matter what you are trying to achieve: to make their relationship closer and warmer, or, conversely, to cut the umbilical cord. You won’t get anything.

5.Values

You cannot change how a person perceives the world and prioritizes. A person’s values ​​are an important part of his personality. He cannot change or revise values ​​because you do not agree with them. If disagreements and contradictions are too strong to put up with, it is better to leave.

6. Communication style

You can try to improve communication between you, but most likely you will have to adapt and come to terms with your partner’s communication style. If you need to constantly communicate, and your partner wants to talk less often, learn to find compromises. Do not force him to communicate with you against his will.

7.Interests

The best part of a relationship is learning new things together. But a man may have hobbies that you do not like. Maybe you hate watching football or going to parties. If you want your interests to be valued and respected, treat his interests the same way. Do not try to change them and force them to quit what they like.

How to deal with your partner’s flaws

Everyone has an idea of ​​the ideal partner. It is made up of parental images, characteristics of a favorite movie character, memories of the first love and ideals that are promoted by the media and the Internet. The embodiment of all the desired characteristics in one real man is impossible.

You can wait as long as you like for the ideal companion, but the features of the real person with whom you have to live will differ from expectations. In the same way, you yourself are not at all perfect for your man. Couples will be able to live happily in which partners consciously adjust their behavior and expectations in order to become closer to each other.

The convergence process can be divided into four stages:

1. Before entering into a relationship, analyze the annoying features of your partner. Divide them into two groups. The first is the qualities that he can theoretically change for you. In the second group there will be something that he cannot change. This includes religious beliefs, ideas about the role of a woman in the family, temperament, and appearance. If you are not ready to accept it, there is no point in continuing the relationship.
2. The next category of traits that can cause conflict are behaviors and habits that you don’t understand. Passion for football, reading books, collecting stamps, a passion for singing can cause rejection. The best quality to overcome this is curiosity. Take an interest in each other’s hobbies and find new common interests.
3. Bargain, negotiate, make mutual concessions. Don’t pressure or manipulate. Talk about desires and expectations openly. If it is not possible to agree on your own and the conflict does not subside, contact a psychotherapist.
4. Create new family habits and traditions that will delight both. Try something you haven’t experienced before. Keep personal space: hobbies, friends, time and activities only for yourself. You and the family remain an individual.