Cuprins
How to help a person in a state of depression, make him feel that he is not alone, that you understand him? The psychiatrist talks about the words that are important to hear for a person who is suffering.
1. «Just know: I’m always there»
By making it clear that you are ready to be there in any situation, you are already providing support. A suffering person realizes how painful, and sometimes burdensome for others, his condition, and begins to close himself off from people. Your words will make him feel less alone and isolated.
You can even say nothing — just be there, listen, or just be silent together. Your presence will help a person overcome the internal blockade, will make him feel: he is still loved and accepted.
2. «What can I do to help you?»
People experiencing a psychological breakdown are often unable to answer this question. However, your words will help someone who is going through a difficult period to listen to himself, to his desires.
Even if they answer you that you don’t need anything, believe me — it was very important to hear this question. And if a person decides to tell and you listen to him, it will be a huge help for him.
3. “I really like about you…”
In moments of depression, we lose self-confidence and often self-respect. And if you make a compliment, pointing out the winning sides and qualities: delicate taste, attention and kindness, features of appearance, this will help you start treating yourself with more attention and love.
4. «Yes, I also think it’s hard and unfair»
Deep experiences make you mentally return to the events that caused them again and again, and the environment begins to feel that he is exaggerating and it is high time to pull himself together.
In a state of depression, people become hypersensitive, and in order for the interlocutor to trust you, it is important to make it clear that you share his emotions. You acknowledge that he has been treated unfairly and the circumstances he is going through are difficult. If he feels that his bitter feelings are accepted, and not devalued, he will more likely find the strength to move on.
5. «I’ll help you find your way out»
If you see a person sinking into a deep depression, the best thing you can do is help them get professional support.
For many people who have never experienced therapy before, the prospect of going to a specialist is daunting. You can contact a psychotherapist yourself and invite a loved one to accompany him to the first appointment. In a state of depression, there is often no strength to turn to outside help, and your support will be invaluable.
6. “I understand you: it happened to me too”
If you or someone close to you has gone through similar vicissitudes in life, tell us about it. Your openness will help the person become more outspoken.
The more and more freely he speaks about what torments him, realizing that words resonate, the less helpless and lonely he feels. And gradually the situation will begin to be perceived not so hopeless.
About the author: Gene Kim is a professor of psychiatry at George Washington University.