Cuprins
How to cope well with your daily life with twin children: our advice!
Being parents of twins is not always easy. It’s a big upheaval in a family. How to manage on a daily basis his two children so singular and fusional? Some answers with Émilie, the mother of Inès and Elsa, six-year-old twins today, and Clotilde Avezou, clinical psychologist and specialist in twinning.
Parents of twins know that everyday life can quickly become complicated with a duo of children to take care of practically simultaneously. How to best organize the day so as not to forget anything? What are the tips for everything to go well? We tell you everything …
Have a “quasi-military” organization
“Rule number 1 when you are a mother of twins: have a foolproof quasi-military organizatione! We cannot leave room for the unforeseen. Moreover, we understand it very quickly! », Says Émilie, the mother of Inès and Elsa. “The parents of twins who come for consultations most frequently have children aged 2-3. This is the age of gaining autonomy, and it is not always easy, ”explains Clotilde Avezou, psychologist, specialist in twinning. For her, it is obvious that everything must be calibrated on a daily basis by the parent. Afterwards, depending on how the twins were conceived, mothers may or may not allow themselves to ask their partner for help. ” If the twins were born naturally, their mothers will be able to express their fatigue and ask their spouse, or grandparents, more easily to take over. Conversely, mothers who have had their twins by IVF rarely allow themselves to say that they are overwhelmed, ”explains the specialist.
Prepare everything the night before
“When you have to manage“ double ”the day ahead, it is better to do it the night before. We prepare the bags, the clothes for the next day, in order to waste as little time as possible in the morning ”, specifies the mother of the twins. Another great tip: “I put all the school menus aside. I shift a few weeks and I take inspiration from these established menus to plan the meals for the week, in advance, from the weekend when I go shopping. It saves me a lot of time. When my daughters were looked after by a nanny, I created a notebook where I wrote down everything that concerned them. What I had prepared for the evening meal, the medications to take… In short, everything the nanny needed to know from day to day, ”she explains.
The weekend, a more flexible life
“On the other hand, unlike the week when everything was planned in advance, weekend family life was completely different. I tried to introduce more flexibility in relation to the week, mainly because of the school rhythm of the girls and my working hours, ”explains the mother of the twins. Since then, her daughters have grown up, which now allows the mother to discuss with them in advance what they want for meals or to cook together, for example on Saturdays.
Differentiate between binoculars
“For their extracurricular activities, at the beginning, I absolutely wanted my daughters to be enrolled in the same sports course. In fact, after a while I realized that they did not like the same cultural activities or workshops at all », Details the mother. Ditto for school! From kindergarten, Émilie wanted her daughters to be in a different class. “It’s important to preserve the individuality of identical twins. I remember that I always dressed them differently and this since their birth. As with hairstyles, they were never styled the same! She adds. You have to listen to each of them, accept the differences, and above all not compare them to one another! “I always said to myself that it was two babies born on the same day, but that’s all, in no case that they were identical in everything”, she also indicates.
Avoid rivalry
“There is also a strong rivalry between the twins. And since they are small, I try to “break” this duo, and more particularly their specific language.. After a while, the twins had developed a way of speaking unique to them, which practically excluded the parents. My role was to impose the fact that they can speak in a way that everyone can understand, ”testifies the mother of Inès and Elsa. It’s a way of separating the duo by imposing the word of the parent, for the shrink. “To avoid any rivalry between my daughters, I often convene family meetings, where we discuss together what is going or not”, she explains. “Twins are close like siblings, but very often they are in a mirror relationship where they compete against each other to assert themselves and grow. Do not hesitate to lay down a clear and precise framework. This can materialize with a large picture, color codes that change according to the behavior of the children, ”concludes the psychologist.