Cuprins
Films were and remain a mirror of the “diseases” of society and a kind of guide for people working on relationships. Based on the behavior matrix of our on-screen counterparts, we learn to build a dialogue with a partner, and sometimes we act contrary to the protagonists in order to achieve personal well-being: for example, we refuse the typical Gosha (aka Goga, aka Zhora) for fear of finding ourselves in a manipulative trap. What can you learn from the characters of the new romantic comedy “(NOT) the perfect man”?
Don’t let the fantastic story about the world of the future, where cybernetic boys and girls are presented in a wide range at an affordable price or even on credit, mislead you. Screenwriters used the futuristic assumption as a metaphor for perfection. And then the fun begins: the choice of the heroine in a given situation. Can her experience be applied to the personal life of a modern woman from the point of view of the psychology of interpersonal relationships?
1. Treason
For Sveta (she was played by Yulia Aleksandrova in the film), the fidelity of a man is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. Moreover, the betrayal of the boyfriend becomes the catalyst for the plot. Only the decision to break off relations “quietly and peacefully” does not come from the main character at all, but from the “traitor” himself, since he realizes that betrayal will be repeated more than once. Later, when the heroine finds a robot in an unambiguous position, she breaks the pattern of behavior and releases aggression, aiming at her rival. The robot gets it – and it’s good that in the universe of the “(NOT) ideal man” the rights of biomechanisms are not sufficiently protected, otherwise the case would have ended in court.
Consiliu. Any conflict should not be brought to the point of assault, although it is sometimes difficult to restrain oneself. Turning an inherently productive anger into an act of violence is the lot of immature people with a low level of empathy. Control your level of aggression with meditation, breathing exercises and sports, and if necessary, seek help from a specialist.
2. Ban on living emotions
In conversations with friends and in internal monologues, we describe exclusively positive epithets. He is hardworking, caring and gentle. This is exactly what Sveta’s lover is – a robot … However, the heroine fell in love with him not at all for ideality, but for … weaknesses. A technical defect endowed him with human feelings: fears, a tendency to melancholy. Is she right?
Consiliu. Allow your partner and yourself to experience the full range of emotions that make your life more complete. This is not about quarrels and dangerous sports for the sake of pure adrenaline, but about the right to weakness, childish delight, tears, fatigue, temporary retreat into oneself. Do not forget that it is the ability to experience emotions that makes a person “alive”.
3. Neurotic vicious circle
One of the most common requests to therapists is related to a repetitive relationship pattern. Why did all previous partners humiliate, insult, deceive – and the new guy immediately after the candy-bouquet period begins to become impudent? The problem can be solved only by the most powerful effort of will or by working with a specialist. The hardest thing is to believe in yourself again and trust a man, especially if the previous experience turned out to be traumatic – like Sveta’s.
Our heroine, having gone through a string of disappointments of the same type, found the strength to love again. But this is not blind love, but much more reasonable.
Consiliu. If you prefer men of a certain type, be prepared for the old, well-trodden “rake”: two neuroses met, lived long, but unhappily. It’s hard to call this love, codependency is a more appropriate word. How to reverse the situation? First of all, highlight the similarities of your ex and avoid similar people, and then listen to your feelings. Comfort and peace will appear only next to those who are worthy of your attention.
4. Never put off until tomorrow…
The provocative tirade of the hero of the film “(NOT) the ideal man” has already become “winged”: “Never put off for tomorrow the one with whom you can sleep today.” It sounds reasonable, but Sveta did not rush. And she did the right thing!
Consiliu. The choice is always yours, but you need to be aware that in a life together, trust and mutual respect are much higher than sex. Therefore, bedding is not a sin to put off a little until you get to know your partner better. A useful habit, especially if you have serious plans for this man.
Funny, romantic and at times ridiculous love story of a woman and a charming robot “(NOT) perfect man” . Don’t miss the chance to see with your own eyes what a (not) perfect relationship with a (not) perfect man will lead to.