Each of us has met them at least once in our lives. They look repulsive: dirty clothes, bad smell. Some of them dance, some sing, some recite poetry, some speak loudly to themselves. Sometimes they are aggressive, swear at passers-by, even spit. Often, fear is hidden behind simple dislike for them — but what exactly are we afraid of? Psychologist Lelya Chizh talks about this.
Being next to them is uncomfortable for us — there is no sense of security. We move away, turn away, pretend that they do not exist at all. We are very afraid that they will approach us, touch us. What if they get us dirty? What if we get some kind of skin disease from them? And in general, we seem to be afraid of them to «infect» with who they are, to become the same as they are.
Meeting them causes a whole range of feelings. More cold-blooded and aloof people feel disgust. More empathic people may experience shame, guilt, empathy.
Crazy outcast old people are our collective Shadow. The complex of everything that we do not want to see, we deny in ourselves. Something that is subject to internal criticism of each of us and society as a whole. And it is quite obvious that, faced with such a living and active «condensation» of our repressed properties and qualities, any of us — whether he realizes it or not — experiences fear.
Meeting with an inadequate old outcast activates various fears:
- noroi,
- sărăcie
- foame
- boală,
- old age and death
- deformities,
- nebunie.
I want to focus on the last, most important fear in this complex. As long as a person retains control over the mind, he can somehow protect himself from hunger, poverty, illness, aging, deformity. He can make decisions, take some actions to prevent negative scenarios. Therefore, the most important change in the transformation from a socially adapted person into an inadequate marginal is the loss of reason. And we are scared, very scared.
A reflecting person begins to think: how did this happen, why did he or she suddenly lose his mind
An empathic, sympathetic person involuntarily, unconsciously identifies himself with this old man or old woman who has gone out of his mind. Especially when manifestations of intelligence, education, accuracy, status are still noticeable in them.
For example, once I met a beggarly dressed grandmother with a mutilated leg, reciting Eugene Onegin by heart. And I also saw two elderly homeless people in love who sat in the middle of the garbage heap, holding hands, and vied with each other reading Pasternak’s poems. And a crazy old woman in a dainty, moth-eaten mink coat, an obviously expensive and custom-made hat, and family jewels.
A reflecting person begins to think: how did this happen, why did someone, just like me, suddenly lose his mind. Some terrible tragedy must have happened to him. The thought is very frightening that if the psyche fails, then as a result of some unexpected dramatic event, you can lose your mind. And this cannot be foreseen in any way, and there is no way to defend oneself.
Once our apartment was robbed, the door was rudely broken down along with the jambs. When I came home from work, the apartment was full of people: the investigation team, witnesses. Mom handed me a glass of water and some kind of sedative pill through the threshold with the words:
Don’t worry, the main thing is to keep your mental health.
It happened during a time of total scarcity, and although I lost all my money, valuables, and even all my good clothes, and it was hard enough to make up for all this, the loss was not big enough to drive me crazy. Although there have been cases that people have lost their minds from material deprivation: for example, having lost a business, a life’s work or housing. And yet, there are worse things. And they are more often associated with a tragic break in relations, and not with material losses.
When the loss of housing is not just the loss of housing, when the beloved son or daughter kicks the old man out of the apartment. The horror of losing a roof over your head here pales before the pain of betrayal and loss of love of the closest person, the one to whom he devoted his whole life.
A friend of mine lost her mind for a while due to tragic circumstances. She was in her early twenties, she was dating a young man, she was pregnant by him. And suddenly she found out that the guy was cheating on her with her friend. It would seem that the case is quite banal, it happens quite often. Another would have deleted him from her life, forgot the name of the traitor.
But my friend turned out to have a very fragile psyche, and for her it was a real tragedy. She lost her mind, she had sound and visual hallucinations, she tried to commit suicide, ended up in a psychiatric hospital, where she was drugged. She had to call an artificial birth, and she lost the child. Fortunately, she recovered, although it took about ten years.
They seem inadequate to us, but they themselves do not suffer at all. They are comfortable and joyful in their subjective reality
In general, from the loss of reason, alas, no one is immune. But to reassure you a little, I will say the following: they are not always unhappy, these “crazy”. If the old woman smiles, dances and sings songs from cartoons, she is most likely well. And the one that expressively reads Pushkin, and then bows, as if from the stage, too. They seem inadequate to us, but they themselves do not suffer at all. They are comfortable and joyful in their subjective reality. But there are those who shout at passers-by, swear, spit, curse. It looks like they are in their own personal hell.
Each of us lives in our own subjective reality. Our perceptions, beliefs, values, experiences are different. If you are transferred to the body of another person, you will feel like you have gone crazy. You will see, hear, perceive smells and tastes differently, completely different thoughts will arise in your head that are not characteristic of you. Meanwhile, both you and this other person, despite all the differences, are normal.
Of course, there is a border between the norm and the non-norm, but it is visible only to an outside observer and only if he has sufficient expertise in this topic.
It seems to me that it is impossible to completely protect yourself from losing your mind. We can only reduce our fear by doing everything possible to make our psyche more stable. And please treat the city crazy people more gently. In these difficult times, this can happen to anyone.