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There is nothing wrong with making a mistake. But it is important how you react to it and what you say to yourself. Clinical psychologist Travis Bradbury is sure that self-hypnosis can increase negative experiences, but it can also help turn a mistake into something productive.
Any self-hypnosis is based on our ideas about ourselves. We often underestimate how important it is to our success. Moreover, this role can be both positive and negative. As Henry Ford said: «Someone believes that he can, and someone believes that he cannot, and both are right.»
Negative thoughts are often divorced from reality and useless, such self-hypnosis leads to defeat — you are sinking deeper and deeper into negative emotions, and it will not be easy to get out of this state.
TalentSmart, an emotional intelligence assessment and development company, has tested over a million people. It turned out that 90% of the most productive people have a high EQ. Often they earn much more than those with low emotional intelligence, they are more likely to be promoted and appreciated for the quality of their work.
The secret is that they are able to track and control negative self-hypnosis in time, which can prevent them from reaching their full potential.
The company’s specialists were able to identify six common and harmful misconceptions that prevent success. Make sure they don’t get in the way of your goal.
1. Perfection = success
Humans are by nature imperfect. If you pursue perfection, you will be tormented by an inner sense of dissatisfaction. Instead of rejoicing in achievements, you will worry about missed opportunities.
2. Fate is already predetermined
Many people are convinced that success or failure is predetermined by fate. Make no mistake: fate is in your hands. Those who attribute their succession of failures to external forces beyond their control are just looking for excuses. Success or failure depends on whether we are ready to make the most of what we have.
3. I “always” do something or “never” do something
There is nothing in life that we always do or that we never do. Some things you do often, some things less often than you should, but to describe your behavior in terms of “always” and “never” is simply to feel sorry for yourself. You tell yourself that you have no control over your own life at all and that you cannot change. Don’t give in to this temptation.
4. Success is the approval of others
Regardless of what others think of you at any given moment, it is safe to say that you are not as good or as bad as they say you are. We cannot but react to these opinions, but we can be skeptical about them. Then we will always respect and value ourselves, no matter what others think of us.
5. My future will be the same as the past
Constant failure can undermine self-confidence and the belief that things can change for the better in the future. Most often, the reason for these failures is that we took risks for some difficult goal. Remember that in order to achieve success, it is very important to be able to turn failures to your advantage. Any worthwhile goal will take risks, and you can’t let failure rob you of your faith in success.
6. My emotions are reality
It is important to objectively evaluate your emotions and be able to separate fact from fantasy. Otherwise, experiences may continue to distort your perception of reality and leave you vulnerable to negative self-hypnosis that prevents you from reaching your full potential.
About the author: Travis Bradbury is a clinical psychologist and co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0.