The unspoken demand for openness has become a trend. We expect loved ones and friends to tell us everything, honestly and in detail analyze their feelings and motives for actions. Inviting a child to a confidential conversation, we count on a sincere presentation of everything that has boiled over. But if we tell each other almost everything, why do we need psychotherapists? Why pay for a service that we provide each other willingly and for free?
“Frankness is not the goal of a psychotherapist,” comments psychoanalyst Marina Harutyunyan. — Do not confuse a session of psychoanalysis with intimate conversations, when we share with friends what we feel, what we consciously think about. The psychoanalyst is interested in what a person himself is not aware of — his unconscious, which, by definition, cannot be spoken.
Sigmund Freud compared the study of the unconscious with an archaeological reconstruction, when from seemingly insignificant sherds, extracted from the depths of the earth or randomly scattered, a holistic picture of what at first did not seem to imply any connection is patiently assembled. So the topic of the conversation is not so important for the psychoanalyst.
The analyst is trying to discover an internal conflict that we are not aware of.
“Freud asked the patient to imagine that he was on a train, and asked him to name everything that he sees outside the window, without ignoring either garbage heaps or fallen leaves, without trying to embellish something,” explains Marina Harutyunyan. — In fact, this stream of consciousness becomes a window into the inner world of a person. And this is not at all like confession, in preparation for which the believer diligently remembers his sins, and then repents of them.
The analyst is trying to discover an internal conflict that we are not aware of. And for this, he monitors not only the content of the story, but also the “holes” in the presentation. After all, where the stream of consciousness touches painful areas that cause anxiety, we tend to avoid them and move away from the topic.
Therefore, we need an Other, someone who will help to explore the psyche, overcoming, as painlessly as possible, this resistance. The work of the analyst allows the patient to understand what true affects he is suppressing by covering up with other, socially desirable reactions.
The therapist does not judge for what was said and takes care of the patient’s defense mechanisms
“Yes, the psychoanalyst monitors reservations or hesitations, but not with the aim of catching the “criminal,” the expert clarifies. “We are talking about a joint study of mental movements. And the meaning of this work is that the client can understand himself better, have a more realistic and integrated view of his thoughts and actions. Then he is better oriented in himself and, accordingly, better in contact with others.
The analyst also has his individual morality, but he does not operate with ideas of sin and virtue. It is important for him to understand how and in what way the patient harms himself in order to help him be less self-destructive.
The psychotherapist does not judge for what has been said and takes care of the patient’s defense mechanisms, knowing full well that self-accusations in the role of confessions are not the most important key to successful work.